Best Man Speech Writer

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A Wedding Planner's Perspective

The next wedding professional who will be sharing with us their wedding know-how and real-life best man speech stories is a wedding planner. Wedding planners know a lot about weddings because, besides coordinating them, they attend more weddings in a year than most would in five. Moreover, they know of every single thing that happens at a wedding. Whether big or small, backstage or in front of everyone, they know. Therefore, and it is safe to say that, wedding planners are a great source of information regarding your role. 

Danielle Aspromatis of d'Luxe Events, a New Jersey-based event planning company whose consultation and coordination services have been repeatedly awarded "Best of Weddings" by The Knot, sat down and talked shop with us. She shared some great tips for best men that you may be interested in considering. Here's our chat with Ms. Aspromatis:

BESTMANSPEECHWRITER.com: What, in your opinion, is the best man’s overall role in a wedding? Have you noticed it change over the years?

Danielle: Being a best man to me means that you are not only honored as a special person in the groom's life, but that you get to be one of the select few who spends time with the groom right before the ceremony. I love being able to watch those one-to-one moments between a groom and his best man - having a drink, last words of wisdom, helping the groom put the finishing touches on like a pocket square or cufflinks. Not everyone gets to spend a whole lot of time with the groom on his wedding day besides the bride and the best man, and that time is special and unique.

Another advantage to being the best man is giving a speech and your speech is more than just a responsibility. It sets the tone for the evening and serves to welcome the guests and kick off the night. Your best man speech is very important but at the same time should be a relaxed moment filled with joy and love.

One thing that has not changed over the years are the jitters I see during the moments leading up to the best man giving his speech! However, one thing that has changed is the bachelor party. In the past, it used to be totally up to the best man to throw a bachelor party. But, nowadays, I am seeing more and more bridal parties and groomsmen come together to throw a bachelor party together so the pressure is not just on one person.

What are the top 3 most important duties of a best man before the wedding? 

Speech writing, bachelor party and listening to the groom complain about wedding planning duties!

What are the top 3 most important duties of a best man on the wedding day? 

Holding on to the rings is his most important job! Also keeping the groom calm and, of course, delivering that speech and toast!

We've heard from a number of former best men that they prefer to be in the thick of wedding planning with the groom rather than stand on the sidelines. From your experience, is this advisable?

I would say leave the planning to the couple. Too many cooks in the kitchen often leads to arguments. The only place that I see a best man's input as being valuable is perhaps in the renting/purchasing of the groomsmen's tuxes or suits (as well as spearheading this entire task). It would be great to have a point person - other than the groom - who can gently remind everyone of their attire deadlines.

By now you have probably "sat" through a lifetime's worth of best man speeches. From your experience and perspective as a wedding planner, can you share with us:

Your #1 best man speech pet peeve?  
Contrived humor that comes off as trying a little too hard.

The key ingredients to a great toast by the best man?
Honest well-wishing, enunciation, and keep it simple.

The best/unique/most memorable thing a best man has ever done during his speech?
I have seen some very funny PowerPoint presentations that involved old pictures, video and a lot of very well-planned humor.

The worst thing a best man has ever done during his speech?
Embarrass the groom to an inappropriate tasteless level. Humor is welcome but it should be light and not overboard.

How a best man is treated after giving a good speech versus a bad one?
Generally, no one is going to be treated poorly after a bad speech but, of course, every best man that I have seen execute a phenomenal speech seems to have a much better time for the rest of the reception!

Any best man speech advice?

Speak from your heart and do not have too many drinks before your speech! Also remember this is the day and age of video and social media. You will be captured for all of time so speak clearly, stand up straight and don't forget to smile - it is a wedding, not a funeral!

If a best man needs to coordinate something for the wedding day - whether for his speech or something else - he should contact the wedding planner, yes? About how far in advance should he do so?  

Yes, of course! Wedding planning packages are often customized to each couple, so it would be proper etiquette to ask the couple first if their package allows for time spent helping the best man or any other member of the wedding party. After clearing that with the couple, it is encouraged for the best man to contact the planner at any time that they need assistance.

Any advice you’d like to share with present and future best men?

Being a best man is truly an honor and the experience should not be taken lightly. This is one of the biggest days in the groom's life, and he has carefully chosen you to be by his side through it all. Also, brush on your pocket square folding skills so you're able to assist the groom and groomsmen with a proper and neat fold. (YouTube is a great source for this.)

A big thank you to Danielle of d'Luxe Events for taking time out of her busy calendar to share with us her knowledge, stories and advice. For more information, visit d'Luxe Events' Facebook page and website, www.dluxeevents.com.  And remember to brush up on your pocket square folding skills.

http://bit.ly/dluxe-events

Words From A Professional Wedding Speechwriter

The Best Man Handbook, to date, has covered a wide range of topics related to the best man's role including your responsibilities as best man, the cost of being the best man, advice on how to plan a bachelor party, a breakdown of wedding dress codes, custom suit tips, a guide on wedding gift giving and, most recently, a very unique wedding gift idea, The Best Man Handbook is your personal roadmap to help you navigate through your role as best man. To shed even more light on the “do’s,” “don’ts” and overall importance of the best man we've now opened the Handbook to a select group of highly-respected wedding professionals who share their wedding know-how as it relates to the best man role. These pros have a lot of wedding wisdom and their stories and advice will make you a better, well-informed and very prepared best man. So here it goes.

First up is us, Best Man Speech Writer; professional wedding speechwriters to be exact. The importance of a best man's speech to a wedding has increased over the years with the increasing use of social media and websites such as YouTube. Today, a terrible best man speech will spread like wildfire beyond the confines of the wedding reception, bringing embarrassment to the bride, the groom, their families and the best man himself. If one bad actor/actress can ruin a movie, you better believe that one bad wedding speech can break the spirit and tone of an otherwise incredible wedding. In other words, they the bride and groom expect a lot out of you and your speech. And that's a lot of pressure.

"We take the burden and stress of writing a speech off your shoulders..."

Which is where the job of professional wedding speechwriters begins. We take the burden and stress of writing a speech off your shoulders to give you the opportunity to fully enjoying your other best man responsibilities and ensure you deliver a best man speech you will be proud of for years to come. So, if you are or are going to be a best man, this post is critically important for you since your best man speech is when the wedding spotlight will be shining its brightest on you - and you alone.

Though the final product from each speechwriter is a speech, how each speechwriter goes about creating his/her work varies and we'll let you in on how we, at Best Man Speech Writer, work with our clients so you know what to expect from us once you draft us into your best man dream team.

"We all take on the roles of public speaking coach, speech editor, "interpreter", and, sometimes, nagging assistant to ensure you're on track for your speech."

We always start by letting you choose the service(s) you want, or need, from us. We offer packaged and a la carte services, and the type of help and how much help we provide is dictated by the service(s) you select. And, even though we're really speechwriters by trade, when needed we also take on the roles of public speaking coach, speech editor, "interpreter", and, sometimes, nagging assistant to ensure you're on track for your speech.

Next, we collect the pieces of information necessary to put your speech together. We'll admit, this step can get VERY personal and for good reason. Having a more in-depth idea of who you are and your bromantic history with the groom gives us a fuller picture and, therefore, enables us to write a more meaningful speech tailored specifically to you and the groom and the couple.

Then, after we work our best man speech writing magic and send you the finished product, we practice your speech with you*. Practicing your speech with you, in our opinion, is one of the most important parts of our job; and past clients have said that the practice session helped them prepare as well as be more confident with the delivery of their speech. In addition, we always include presentation cues within all of the speeches we write to help you deliver and "sell" the speech. So, no matter which of our services or package you book, we will always offer you speech delivery advice.

There are a lot of average and uncomfortably horrible best man speeches out there and we're here to save you and your best man speech from either fate. (Here and here are examples of bad best man speeches that could've easily been avoided.) We live and breathe wedding speeches and know how to toe the thin line of sentimentality and humor without crossing over into the vulgar and overly embarrassing. We are very good at what we do and are here to make your life as best man easier.

So, let's recap. Here are the 5 benefits of hiring us (or any professional wedding speechwriter for that matter):

  1. We take on all the responsibility and stress of writing your best man speech;
  2. We know how to put together a great best man speech filled with humor, sentiment, and personal stories that won't embarrass anyone;
  3. We provide you with speech delivery tips and advice;
  4. We can fill you in on your role because we have worked with past best men and know what's expected from you; and
  5. Most importantly, you get to concentrate on other best man tasks that are way more fun.

In short, we are here to make sure you have a speech you can be proud of and a speech that will further prove why you, above every other man in the groom's life, were chosen to be THE best man. If you have any questions about our services, want advice on your upcoming speech, or need to vet us through our past clients, please feel free to contact us anytime. We'll be here for you whenever you're ready. 

* Depending on booked service and/or package.

List of Best Man Responsibilities

Your buddy/relative asked you to be his best man and you automatically responded with a "Hell yeah!". 

Almost every single man before you, and probably even those after you will, respond to this exact question in the very same manner. And who can blame you? Being asked to be the best man is a privilege that isn't bestowed everyday. But what EXACTLY did you get yourself into with this whole best man business? What are a best man's responsibilities?

First and foremost, your primary duty is to be present for and be helpful to the groom. But, we can tell you off the bat, your best man responsibilities go beyond this and planning a bachelor party and wedding toast. There's a whole lot of tasks that come with your wedding VIP role and we've listed them below for you.

And don't let the length of this list intimidate you because there may be a bunch of them that won't apply to you. Also, so you don't have to remember everything, print out the free printer-friendly version of the best man responsibilities checklist here.


BEFORE THE WEDDING

  • Help the groom choose his and the groomsmen's wedding day attires

  • Coordinate the groomsmen's fittings
    Make sure everyone knows when and where to be for the fitting. Also, be prepared to purchase or rent - as well as pay - for your tuxedo or suit.  

  • Offer to arrange accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen

  • Offer to take on the responsibility of relaying communication to the groomsmen 

  • Organize the bachelor party
    The earlier you start the planning process, the easier it'll be for you. But before diving headfirst into planning for the bachelor party, confirm whether the groom wants one or not. If yes, ask him for a guest list then go buck wild. Remain in contact with the attendees so everyone is aware of the party's details and because it helps get everyone excited for the party. Keep a close eye on expenses and make sure each attendee covers his portion of the bill.

  • Propose the idea of a group gift for the groom  to the groomsmen
    If everyone is down, handle all the details and present the group's gift at the bachelor party.

  • Begin thinking about your best man speech
    The earlier you start thinking about and planning out your speech, the easier it'll be for you. Here's a list of our top 10 tips to help get you started or you can hire a professional best man speechwriter like us to help you out with this task.

DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING

Rehearsal 

  • Attend the rehearsal
    In general, the rehearsal will take place the day before the wedding, at the place of the ceremony, and lasts between half an hour to an hour. Make sure to pay attention because others may need you to help remind them of what they need to do and when. And, given you play a pretty major role, arrive on time. 

Rehearsal Dinner

  • Attend the rehearsal dinner
    Typically, after the rehearsal is the rehearsal dinner attended by those in the wedding party as well as other family and friends invited by the couple. Rehearsal dinners are usually held at a restaurant and toasts are given during dinner. You aren't obligated to make a toast and, so that you save your material for your best man speech at the reception, we'd recommend you not make a toast at the rehearsal dinner.

WEDDING DAY

Before the Ceremony

  • Help the groom get dressed
     
  • Make sure the groom has everything he needs
    Whether it be the marriage license, wedding bands, or his honeymoon necessities - passport, tickets, luggage - make sure these details are ready and on/near him.  
     
  • Take over the wedding bands' protective detail
    They should always be on you at all times and especially at the ceremony (unless there's a ring bearer).
     
  • Collect any vendor payments from the groom
    Each vendor's payment should be in a sealed envelope with the  vendor's name on it. (Bring envelopes with you just in case.)

     
  • Drive the groom to the ceremony location
    And make sure you guys get there at least half an hour before the ceremony starts.
     
  • Check that each groomsman is in attendance, properly dressed and has his boutonniere pinned on the left lapel of his suit jacket 
     
  • Keep the groom company while waiting for the ceremony to start
    In case of downtime, bring something to keep you two occupied - handheld video game, cards, etc. - it'll help the groom stay calm. 

At the Ceremony

  • If there is a ring bearer, go over with him what he needs to do
    Attach the rings to the pillow if that is what the couple wants.
     
  • Stand by the groom's side before the ceremony starts
     
  • Hand the groom the wedding bands (if there is no ring bearer)
     
  • Escort the maid-of-honor down the aisle at the end of the ceremony
    Return to escort the mother-of-the-bride (if needed).

After the Ceremony

  • Sign the marriage license
     
  • Distribute payments to the appropriate vendors
     
  • Drive the newlyweds to the reception venue (if there is no limo)
    For the sake of the bride and her dress, clean the inside of your car ahead of time. 

At the Reception

  • Be the host with the most
    Help create a warm, social atmosphere by welcoming guests, making introductions and, of course, chatting with the guests. 
     
  • Get the groomsmen together for formal photographs
     
  • Get yourself on the dance floor
    Help get the party started by being among the first to bust a move. Also, you're expected to dance with the bride, maid-of-honor and maybe even the mothers of the bride and groom.
     
  • Again, distribute payments to the appropriate vendors
     
  • Safeguard the gift envelopes until the newlyweds returns from the honeymoon
     
  • Help the groom change into his honeymoon clothes
    Make sure to take his wedding clothes with you.
     
  • Prepare their getaway car 
    Decorate their car, have the car decorated or have a limo waiting for the newlyweds after the reception. Also, if needed, help them make their getaway from the reception.

AFTER THE WEDDING

  • Bring the groom's and your tuxedos/suits to the cleaner or back to the rental shop